*puts condom on my finger before fingering myself* you never know
why is that car so close to the wall
College in two sentences or less.
I love how it’s not something like “wear something smart”. It’s just like “wear something”.#collegelife
how come you never see Troy and Gabrielle fucking acting in the first High School Musical. they’re auditioning for a play. a play with words. words need spoken. stage directions need be taken. what even is the plot of that musical. did anyone go to see it. how come Sharpay and her gay brother didn’t get supporting roles actually wait fuck were there any supporting roles? what is the high school musical in high school musical. why does ryan keep wearing hats.
cute girl on the street: hey do you have the time?
me: sure do! 8:15
cute girl on the street: thanks
me: so what are we?
Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”
*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*
Animal: *licks its own asshole*
human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*
Ass eating goes hard so what’s your point